Eat Your Heart Out, Matt

I'm trying to be like Matt. Isn't it an artistic pic? No, it wasn't taken in Amsterdam, Japan, or any other crazy foreign country he's been to or is going to.

I've been a reading machine lately. My tastes in books are strange; the majority of books I read are considered children/young adult novels. It's really because the science fiction/fantasy genre for young adults is in a golden era, so to speak. You can thank J.K. Rowling for that; there were a lot of great Sci-Fi kids' books written before then, but it's popularity has exploded since.

Ironically, Rowling's United Kingdom seems to churn out the most sci-fi/fantasy authors. It's not easy finding popular books as such written by Americans. Don't get me wrong, there are some great books. But for read-alouds to kids, having a book written by an author with the same dialect and verbal mannerisms as our popular culture does make a difference.

Right now I'm reading the Shadow Children series, by Margaret Peterson Haddix. In short, our government has become totalitarian after a huge food shortage, and one of the "rules" they came up with is to outlaw having more than three children, which is punishable by death (the whole family, that is). The lead character is twelve, a third child, and has lived his life being blinds and in an attic. It's very big brother 1984-ish. And not something you'd consider a plot to a children's series.

Check out my link for www.goodreads.com. It's fun, especially if you like to read.

Collin Grows Some

That is what Collin and I went on when we spent the evening at Cedar Point. From 5:00 to 10:00, we stood in lines and rode five coasters, including the Top Fuel Dragster, which launches you from 0-120 and shoots you up 420 feet in the air, before falling face first back down again. No food; only one stop for bathrooms. We were on a mission. And Collin loved it; this was one of his favorites (the other was the Raptor, which dangles your feel while corkscrewing and flipping all over itself.

At some point between us last going to Holiday World and now Collin has grown from a kid afraid of his own shadow to someone willing to try THAT. And it is enormous; we stopped at a lighthouse on the other side of the bay, and the view of the park was impressive from there.

All in all, it was a fun time. Griffin's meltdowns were a bit unnecessary, especially in a campground where there is no good place to hide a screaming kid. Now we're back in town (be afraid).

BTW: For all of the Byers' kids friends out there...do you do any babysitting? Yeah, I'm shameless. I'm looking for help on Monday, August 4 (I have an inservice) and Wednesday, August 6 (the 2nd grade teachers have a workday).

Our Travel Plans NEWLY REVISED!

Read Zookeeper's blog to find out her feelings about the upcoming trip changes. Here's an article about what I'm talking about.


TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. -- Hundreds of pounds of household garbage has washed onto Lake Michigan shores in the past couple of days, leading to an investigation by the Coast Guard and the temporary closure of a public beach. Trash that apparently came ashore overnight Sunday was strewn along a 10-mile stretch in Mason and Manistee counties in Michigan's northwestern Lower Peninsula. Junk piles up to 8 inches high were reported at a beach in the city of Manistee.
Garbage also washed onto private beaches Tuesday in Holland, more than 100 miles south of Manistee. It was not immediately clear whether the two were related, Lt. Kristie Cabanting, a Coast Guard spokeswoman in Milwaukee. A helicopter was undertaking flights to try determining where the garbage came from, she said.


I was still ok about going up (kind of), but Steph is very much grossed out about this, especially the whole syringe in the sand idea. So we're instead heading to Putinbay, Ohio. I'll post later. Now I'm off to the Microbrew Fest!

Camping Time

Here is our little camper that we'll be using on our vacation to the coast of Lake Michigan and Manistee. We really don't get to use it all that often; our weekends have become very busy, what with boy scouts and karate tournaments. It will be interesting to see how the twins will do with camping; they are getting older, but Erin is still fascinated/terrified of any and all insects. Griffin, on the other hand, loves outside, but he our camper is not sound proof to the occasional outbursts he exhibits. Or to Erin's either.

At least we have Mr. Davy Crockett himself, Collin. He's all about spending time camping and doing woodman-type things. Heck, the camper might actually be too civilized for him.

So today will be spent prepping for our camp-out. You know, getting things packed, doing laundry, cleaning the house up, etc. Still working on the shed; I'm in the middle of priming it. And I've been working on school-related things, too. Oh, and reading a pretty good book. Tough life as a SOD.

Dunkin Donuts!

Our Dunkin Donuts, which took, like years to build, is finally open! It's in a strip mall that also houses the best ice cream and B-dubs, home of some tasty, tasty wings and other stuff that's tasty, too. Oh, yeah, it also houses our gym, but that's like a serial killer obeying the speed limit.

What makes me happy is that it's the first donut shop that's not in Marsh or Kroger. I remember going to the Krispy Kreme store (you know, where they made them FRESH, not like Kroger's week-old versions) when I was a kid in Alabama after church. Talk about tasty. We also had Dunkin Donuts and some other place, which I don't remember the name of. But we move up to Indiana, one of the heaviest cities in the nation, and there's no bakery around. Weird. They fry everything around here, but no good donuts? And, no, bagels don't count.

I'm looking at my schedule for the rest of the summer, and it's gotten me depressed. I really wish our school went to an all-year format. Long breaks just make me dread going back. It's like starting at a new job every year. I know, boo hoo, smallest violin in the world, yada yada. Only from a teacher.

Huh? What day is it?

Is the first thing to go as you age your memory? Because I've had a horrible time with forgetting things. Tying a string around my finger? Sure. If I remembered where i put the string.

Case in point. Being the cheapskate I am, I decided that I would carry our portable CD player from inside to outside and vice versa when needed; thus saving money we don't have by forgoing an exterior CD player.

Great idea...if I remembered things like that. But alas the CD player was outside all night long. And apparently it must have either rained, or the dew was extremely heavy. Good-bye CD player.

If I would have looked into an outside system, I'd have 2 working players instead of 0. This is but one example of my forgetfulness. I've had a horrible time remembering kids' names (especially when they're right in front of me) (not mine, by the way; I'm not that bad), grocery items, location of car keys and sunglasses and parked cars, garage codes, etc. And I'm passing this trait on to my kids; my oldest had almost a dozen missing items at his boy scout camp gear inspection, and then his troop had to unpack the entire trailer so he could get out a t-shirt (which he forgot to wear).

Anyway...what was I talking about?

Handy Household Tips Courtesy of Czizek

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATERDOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE: WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Teachers, Nose Jobs, and Reds Games

If you follow the reds at all, you'll understand this. Adam Dunn: 1 home run, 2 strike outs.

I finished the shed doors finally. I must admit, I'm pretty awesome.

Lightning McQueen broke her nose yesterday. The thing is that new cars can have a minor fender bender and still cost up the rear.

Another reason why teachers get the shaft? Curt had an interview for another job, got offered it. The catch? He'd lose his 10 years pay experience, his master's pay increase, and start over at 0 years. That's a $14,000 pay cut. And that is the norm for Indiana schools. Tell me how that's acceptable. Sure, we get nice vacations, and there is usually job security. But we get treated like kids. There's a teaching crisis going around; administrators can't understand why they can't keep experienced teachers from leaving for other professions. Hmm.

Feeling Old

Yesterday was the first official day where I felt old. And I don't mean doing something stupid and hurting myself, like trying to dig a twenty foot long trench with a shovel in an afternoon (true story). Nope, I mean the old that comes from doing something that I felt completely comfortable and able to do previously in my life.

Curt, Bullock, and I met up in Greensburg and drove down to the Reds ballpark. We stuck around for the game (Reds won, and we had great seats on row 2 of the upper deck right behind home plate; thanks Steph! You's the best!), and then decided to do a little twilight session at King's Island. OK, time for a flashback. Do-de-do, do-de-d0-do-de-do (hands waving)

Several years back, the same band of criminals left Chicago at 6 in the morning, drove to Detroit, watched a Tigers day game, drove to Cedar Point for the twilight special, rode umpteen roller coasters, closed the park down, ate a midnight meal at Denny's, drove to Cleveland, and checked in at a downtown hotel for an Indians day game the following day. By the way, after THAT game, we drove all the way back to Chicago for a White Sox game.

Back to present day. King's Island roller coaster riding from 5:00-10:00? No problem! Wrong. Maybe it's me, but the rides seemed a heck of a lot rougher than before. I wonder if I didn't separate my shoulder on the Beast. Oh, and the former Tomb Raider-vomit ride? That sucked. Even on the new flying coaster (which I loved), the photo capture shows Curt clinging tightly to the restraints in terror. He even admitted that he's never going on that one again, and this is from a self-proclaimed roller coaster expert. We were all three beaten and broken.

But that's not all! It seemed as though we were definitely on the older side of the patrons there. Lots of kids with lots of flimsy outfits or piercings arguing or playing or making out. In one ride line, we spent 30 minutes forced to watch two kids do things that normally you'd pay per the minute for. It was as nauseating as the spinny ride we were waiting for.

We stopped at Steak and Shake afterwards and sat there feeling absolutely geriatric. Our conversation? School and nutritional values of the meals we're eating. I'm surprised that one of us didn't take the time to explain the benefits of using Poly-grip. It was sad.

So now I'm back at home. Griffin thankfully let me sleep in until almost 9:30. I was thinking of getting the doors on the shed. I'm not so sure now. I'm actually hoping for rain.

Happy Fourth!

The fam went over to the Fleck's last evening for fun and merriment. Curt and Audrey joined us in the revelry. Fun times, fun times.

Yesterday was the shedwater divide of the summer; half of it is gone for me. I recall, as many of you might also, how as a child I would feel the internal dread whenever the days were counting away from a break from school. Well, teachers get to experience this every single year. I even have school-induced insomnia the closer we get to the 1st day of school. And I'm stinkin' 32 years old! Other things that never go away when you're a teacher: the smell of rectangle pizzas and jumping at those stupid loud fire drills.

Tomorrow I will unknowingly be going to a Cincinnati Reds game. Shh, it's a surprise.

Golfing is Fun and Stinks

Kudos to Greg for actually guessing the Billy Joel song. I was thinking Modern Woman from The Bridge but Vienna also works, too. And you get a giant pat on the back as a prize. Get Katie to give you that.

So, I went golfing yesterday for the first time in, like, 200 years. A big thanks to Katie for watching my kids. Went with a couple of other guys to Fox Prairie in Noblesville. It was warm, sunny, and very windy. And I stunk. It was great! It's amazing how quickly nuances of the game get away from you after the few years hiatus. Not that I had down many golfing nuances before anyway. I seriously lost count of how many golf balls I lost; it was more than 10, I think.

It was a great time. But golf is only a game, not a sport for us normal folk. I'm sure professionals or semi professionals can consider it a sport; many of them actually train and work out and such in order to get better. But for 99% of us, golf is a game just like horseshoes, Texas Hold-em, or Literati. If you can successfully play something while downing a 6-pack, that should officially exclude it from sports-status. Actually, drinking would probably help my golf game. I lose most of my strokes on the green.

It looks like a day of rain. My grand plans of outside work have been cancelled for the day. And now I've blogged. What to do, what to do...