Back to Normal

Day four of school has come and gone...and I'm tired. This whole "working" thing; really, who thought that was a good idea? Cavemen didn't work, except to get food. Of course, they live about 12 years, but that's just a minor issue.

I could also be tired from our camping trip to Bremen this weekend. Nothing like being around wild animals. Of course we live with them, too, but Erin and Griffin seem to rise to the occasion when we're away from home.

Speaking of rising, I can't make bread. Just thought you'd want to know that. Ask Steph.

Collin is planning on playing alto sax in the school band this year. A big thanks goes out to Matt, who actually owns one. Seriously, is there anything you don't have? An ancient Potowatomi arrowhead? Ticket stubs to Skynard? A booze-soaked original Hemingway manuscript?

I have my fantasy football draft this weekend. Any pointers?

Opinions are like...

A raise would be nice. Or a company car. Although I doubt having a school bus parked on the curb is allowed in our covenants.

Blissful ignorance is a virtue that guys should embrace. Again, I am astonished by how much gossip (usually true) travels around a community, especially when it involves a child's school. I swear I probably knew my class list after many parents did. I certainly didn't know that a new third grade teacher was hired before many parents (Judy, I give you props for that one, and so do all of the third grade teachers). And I'm pretty sure I knew about it even before the new teacher did. It's kind of spooky how things get out.

The floating opinions of parents really get to me sometimes. I haven't really heard much about myself (again, blissful ignorance is a gift), but I overhear things about other teachers. But here's my philosophy: I am not a perfect teacher or human being. I am aware of my flaws (which are many; some hidden, others not), and I must work with them. But rest assured, I work my darndest to be the best teacher, parent, husband, and person I can be. Also, any teacher decisions I make are made because that's what I consider best for the kid. I figure that if I keep this in mind for all people, I can relate to them.

Here's something I found: Rules for Teachers from 1915 (as you can tell, this refers to female teachers, I hope)

1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.
2. You are not to keep company with men.
3. You must be home between the hours of 8 PM and 6 AM
unless at a school function.
4. You may not loiter downtown in any of the ice cream
stores.
5. You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you
have permission of the chairman of the chairman of the
school board.
6. You may not ride in carriages or automobiles with any
man except your father or brother.
7. You may not smoke cigarettes.
8. You may not dress in bright colors.
9. You may under no circumstances dye your hair.
10. You must wear at least 2 petticoats.
11. Your dresses may not be any shorter than 2 inches above
the ankles.
12. To keep the classroom neat and clean you must sweep the
floor once a day, scrub the floor with hot soapy water
once a week, clean the blackboards once a day and start
the fire at 7 AM to have the school warm by 8 AM when
the scholars arrive.

Comment Responses

Alaina: Yes, I did do a baseball theme before. Wow, that's pretty impressive that you remember that. Actually, now I'm doing just a generic sports theme. I have tons of sports decorations, so that'll be easy. And, since I am such an athlete that this theme won't be much of a stretch.

Judy: Please don't let out all of my secrets. Any materials for my anatomy unit are safely locked up with my "drug awareness" tools.

Katie: Judy has offered to keep the kids for Tuesday, but thanks for offering. I might be asking you later on one of Westfield's many professional development days.

School and Home

Ah, it's the last week before school. Time to start thinking about what to do. Today was the first day that my classroom actually contained furniture, but whatever. I think I'm going to go for the baseball theme this year. You see, elementary teachers can get away with decorating and not be made fun of. In fact, parents kind of expect the room to look cheery and happy.


This also reminds me of my summer to do list. Hmmm, not going too well. In fact, I've done very little of it. I'm currently in the middle of painting the shed, and I'm not getting anything done today with the rain we've had. Probably just as well that I haven't completed all the jobs; these things cost money, and there's never a lot of that at Start of School time.

But being Super Dad (copyright pending), I have tried to get the kids out and about this summer. That's one accomplishment. Thanks to Judy W. for volunteering to watch my kids tomorrow. Is there anyone who'd like to take them on Tuesday, August 12? My first day of school (but not the kids).

BTW, most pic on my blog were taken by my talented wife. My pics are typically crap.

Lake Erie's Symbol

To sort-of quote Shrek, "Do you think they were trying to compensate for something?"

Eat Your Heart Out, Matt

I'm trying to be like Matt. Isn't it an artistic pic? No, it wasn't taken in Amsterdam, Japan, or any other crazy foreign country he's been to or is going to.

I've been a reading machine lately. My tastes in books are strange; the majority of books I read are considered children/young adult novels. It's really because the science fiction/fantasy genre for young adults is in a golden era, so to speak. You can thank J.K. Rowling for that; there were a lot of great Sci-Fi kids' books written before then, but it's popularity has exploded since.

Ironically, Rowling's United Kingdom seems to churn out the most sci-fi/fantasy authors. It's not easy finding popular books as such written by Americans. Don't get me wrong, there are some great books. But for read-alouds to kids, having a book written by an author with the same dialect and verbal mannerisms as our popular culture does make a difference.

Right now I'm reading the Shadow Children series, by Margaret Peterson Haddix. In short, our government has become totalitarian after a huge food shortage, and one of the "rules" they came up with is to outlaw having more than three children, which is punishable by death (the whole family, that is). The lead character is twelve, a third child, and has lived his life being blinds and in an attic. It's very big brother 1984-ish. And not something you'd consider a plot to a children's series.

Check out my link for www.goodreads.com. It's fun, especially if you like to read.

Collin Grows Some

That is what Collin and I went on when we spent the evening at Cedar Point. From 5:00 to 10:00, we stood in lines and rode five coasters, including the Top Fuel Dragster, which launches you from 0-120 and shoots you up 420 feet in the air, before falling face first back down again. No food; only one stop for bathrooms. We were on a mission. And Collin loved it; this was one of his favorites (the other was the Raptor, which dangles your feel while corkscrewing and flipping all over itself.

At some point between us last going to Holiday World and now Collin has grown from a kid afraid of his own shadow to someone willing to try THAT. And it is enormous; we stopped at a lighthouse on the other side of the bay, and the view of the park was impressive from there.

All in all, it was a fun time. Griffin's meltdowns were a bit unnecessary, especially in a campground where there is no good place to hide a screaming kid. Now we're back in town (be afraid).

BTW: For all of the Byers' kids friends out there...do you do any babysitting? Yeah, I'm shameless. I'm looking for help on Monday, August 4 (I have an inservice) and Wednesday, August 6 (the 2nd grade teachers have a workday).

Our Travel Plans NEWLY REVISED!

Read Zookeeper's blog to find out her feelings about the upcoming trip changes. Here's an article about what I'm talking about.


TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. -- Hundreds of pounds of household garbage has washed onto Lake Michigan shores in the past couple of days, leading to an investigation by the Coast Guard and the temporary closure of a public beach. Trash that apparently came ashore overnight Sunday was strewn along a 10-mile stretch in Mason and Manistee counties in Michigan's northwestern Lower Peninsula. Junk piles up to 8 inches high were reported at a beach in the city of Manistee.
Garbage also washed onto private beaches Tuesday in Holland, more than 100 miles south of Manistee. It was not immediately clear whether the two were related, Lt. Kristie Cabanting, a Coast Guard spokeswoman in Milwaukee. A helicopter was undertaking flights to try determining where the garbage came from, she said.


I was still ok about going up (kind of), but Steph is very much grossed out about this, especially the whole syringe in the sand idea. So we're instead heading to Putinbay, Ohio. I'll post later. Now I'm off to the Microbrew Fest!

Camping Time

Here is our little camper that we'll be using on our vacation to the coast of Lake Michigan and Manistee. We really don't get to use it all that often; our weekends have become very busy, what with boy scouts and karate tournaments. It will be interesting to see how the twins will do with camping; they are getting older, but Erin is still fascinated/terrified of any and all insects. Griffin, on the other hand, loves outside, but he our camper is not sound proof to the occasional outbursts he exhibits. Or to Erin's either.

At least we have Mr. Davy Crockett himself, Collin. He's all about spending time camping and doing woodman-type things. Heck, the camper might actually be too civilized for him.

So today will be spent prepping for our camp-out. You know, getting things packed, doing laundry, cleaning the house up, etc. Still working on the shed; I'm in the middle of priming it. And I've been working on school-related things, too. Oh, and reading a pretty good book. Tough life as a SOD.

Dunkin Donuts!

Our Dunkin Donuts, which took, like years to build, is finally open! It's in a strip mall that also houses the best ice cream and B-dubs, home of some tasty, tasty wings and other stuff that's tasty, too. Oh, yeah, it also houses our gym, but that's like a serial killer obeying the speed limit.

What makes me happy is that it's the first donut shop that's not in Marsh or Kroger. I remember going to the Krispy Kreme store (you know, where they made them FRESH, not like Kroger's week-old versions) when I was a kid in Alabama after church. Talk about tasty. We also had Dunkin Donuts and some other place, which I don't remember the name of. But we move up to Indiana, one of the heaviest cities in the nation, and there's no bakery around. Weird. They fry everything around here, but no good donuts? And, no, bagels don't count.

I'm looking at my schedule for the rest of the summer, and it's gotten me depressed. I really wish our school went to an all-year format. Long breaks just make me dread going back. It's like starting at a new job every year. I know, boo hoo, smallest violin in the world, yada yada. Only from a teacher.

Huh? What day is it?

Is the first thing to go as you age your memory? Because I've had a horrible time with forgetting things. Tying a string around my finger? Sure. If I remembered where i put the string.

Case in point. Being the cheapskate I am, I decided that I would carry our portable CD player from inside to outside and vice versa when needed; thus saving money we don't have by forgoing an exterior CD player.

Great idea...if I remembered things like that. But alas the CD player was outside all night long. And apparently it must have either rained, or the dew was extremely heavy. Good-bye CD player.

If I would have looked into an outside system, I'd have 2 working players instead of 0. This is but one example of my forgetfulness. I've had a horrible time remembering kids' names (especially when they're right in front of me) (not mine, by the way; I'm not that bad), grocery items, location of car keys and sunglasses and parked cars, garage codes, etc. And I'm passing this trait on to my kids; my oldest had almost a dozen missing items at his boy scout camp gear inspection, and then his troop had to unpack the entire trailer so he could get out a t-shirt (which he forgot to wear).

Anyway...what was I talking about?

Handy Household Tips Courtesy of Czizek

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATERDOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE: WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Teachers, Nose Jobs, and Reds Games

If you follow the reds at all, you'll understand this. Adam Dunn: 1 home run, 2 strike outs.

I finished the shed doors finally. I must admit, I'm pretty awesome.

Lightning McQueen broke her nose yesterday. The thing is that new cars can have a minor fender bender and still cost up the rear.

Another reason why teachers get the shaft? Curt had an interview for another job, got offered it. The catch? He'd lose his 10 years pay experience, his master's pay increase, and start over at 0 years. That's a $14,000 pay cut. And that is the norm for Indiana schools. Tell me how that's acceptable. Sure, we get nice vacations, and there is usually job security. But we get treated like kids. There's a teaching crisis going around; administrators can't understand why they can't keep experienced teachers from leaving for other professions. Hmm.

Feeling Old

Yesterday was the first official day where I felt old. And I don't mean doing something stupid and hurting myself, like trying to dig a twenty foot long trench with a shovel in an afternoon (true story). Nope, I mean the old that comes from doing something that I felt completely comfortable and able to do previously in my life.

Curt, Bullock, and I met up in Greensburg and drove down to the Reds ballpark. We stuck around for the game (Reds won, and we had great seats on row 2 of the upper deck right behind home plate; thanks Steph! You's the best!), and then decided to do a little twilight session at King's Island. OK, time for a flashback. Do-de-do, do-de-d0-do-de-do (hands waving)

Several years back, the same band of criminals left Chicago at 6 in the morning, drove to Detroit, watched a Tigers day game, drove to Cedar Point for the twilight special, rode umpteen roller coasters, closed the park down, ate a midnight meal at Denny's, drove to Cleveland, and checked in at a downtown hotel for an Indians day game the following day. By the way, after THAT game, we drove all the way back to Chicago for a White Sox game.

Back to present day. King's Island roller coaster riding from 5:00-10:00? No problem! Wrong. Maybe it's me, but the rides seemed a heck of a lot rougher than before. I wonder if I didn't separate my shoulder on the Beast. Oh, and the former Tomb Raider-vomit ride? That sucked. Even on the new flying coaster (which I loved), the photo capture shows Curt clinging tightly to the restraints in terror. He even admitted that he's never going on that one again, and this is from a self-proclaimed roller coaster expert. We were all three beaten and broken.

But that's not all! It seemed as though we were definitely on the older side of the patrons there. Lots of kids with lots of flimsy outfits or piercings arguing or playing or making out. In one ride line, we spent 30 minutes forced to watch two kids do things that normally you'd pay per the minute for. It was as nauseating as the spinny ride we were waiting for.

We stopped at Steak and Shake afterwards and sat there feeling absolutely geriatric. Our conversation? School and nutritional values of the meals we're eating. I'm surprised that one of us didn't take the time to explain the benefits of using Poly-grip. It was sad.

So now I'm back at home. Griffin thankfully let me sleep in until almost 9:30. I was thinking of getting the doors on the shed. I'm not so sure now. I'm actually hoping for rain.

Happy Fourth!

The fam went over to the Fleck's last evening for fun and merriment. Curt and Audrey joined us in the revelry. Fun times, fun times.

Yesterday was the shedwater divide of the summer; half of it is gone for me. I recall, as many of you might also, how as a child I would feel the internal dread whenever the days were counting away from a break from school. Well, teachers get to experience this every single year. I even have school-induced insomnia the closer we get to the 1st day of school. And I'm stinkin' 32 years old! Other things that never go away when you're a teacher: the smell of rectangle pizzas and jumping at those stupid loud fire drills.

Tomorrow I will unknowingly be going to a Cincinnati Reds game. Shh, it's a surprise.

Golfing is Fun and Stinks

Kudos to Greg for actually guessing the Billy Joel song. I was thinking Modern Woman from The Bridge but Vienna also works, too. And you get a giant pat on the back as a prize. Get Katie to give you that.

So, I went golfing yesterday for the first time in, like, 200 years. A big thanks to Katie for watching my kids. Went with a couple of other guys to Fox Prairie in Noblesville. It was warm, sunny, and very windy. And I stunk. It was great! It's amazing how quickly nuances of the game get away from you after the few years hiatus. Not that I had down many golfing nuances before anyway. I seriously lost count of how many golf balls I lost; it was more than 10, I think.

It was a great time. But golf is only a game, not a sport for us normal folk. I'm sure professionals or semi professionals can consider it a sport; many of them actually train and work out and such in order to get better. But for 99% of us, golf is a game just like horseshoes, Texas Hold-em, or Literati. If you can successfully play something while downing a 6-pack, that should officially exclude it from sports-status. Actually, drinking would probably help my golf game. I lose most of my strokes on the green.

It looks like a day of rain. My grand plans of outside work have been cancelled for the day. And now I've blogged. What to do, what to do...

A Thoroughly Modern Family

We got on the cell phone bandwagon about two years ago, thus being one of the last families in the local region to actually give in to the temptation of Big Brother knowing our every move (I swear that someday we'll all find out that our cell phone tracking devices have been routinely monitored by the government or some pop-up ad agency for years). BUT at that time we also gave up our satellite TV and our Internet. We were officially in the dark ages.

Now in the past six months I've gotten a cool new cell phone with a full text keyboard (Steph, too)...PLUS a Wii, satellite TV (again), Internet (again), a new computer with a huge LCD screen, and various games for the Wii and PS2. I'm in electronic overload.

Case in point: Curt keeps asking me how I'm doing in Tiger Woods Wii Golf. To be honest, I've only touched it twice. I've spent my spare time recently at sprinkler parks, building shed doors, and reading books (and I don't mean the ones on the Internet. These are actually made of paper). Of course I've also started a blog. Life has reached a paradox of sorts. There's a Billy Joel song about that. Bonus points if you can tell me the title plus the album it's from.

The Blogging World

Wow. Didn't expect so many comments. Actually, didn't realize I knew that many people.

No, the apocalypse is not coming to fruition...yet. Now if my youngest sister becomes a registered Republican, that's another story.

Speaking of the apocalypse, do you think there's any coorelation between Revelations and Barack Obama? This idea came from a buddy. A relative unknown comes forth. He's charming, eloquent, and full of vision. People flock to him by the thousands. His popularity has soared in such a short time. Soon he could be the leader of the most powerful country in the world. Hmm.

He said this all in jest (I think), and I am quite cynical about all of premature talk of the coming. Heck, right now I'm rooting for Obama. But there's nothing like stoking a fiery mix of politics and religion.

I'm probably going to head to Menards/Lowes soon. As Paul so eloquently badgered me about last night, my shed doors will need to be waterproofed since I used good ole pine 2x4's. I really didn't want to work with pressure treated lumber...that's some nasty sh...ut your mouth. But getting some primer/waterproofer and caulk will be good. Also noticed that the top of the shed door jam is rotting because the former owner didn't caulk. I'm kind of tired of having to fix all of the screw-ups from that guy. This house is a money pit mainly because of his stupidity. Oh, and the Byers luck, which is non-existant.

Boredom and Laundry Lists

Being a summer stay at home dad, I've created a list of tasks to finish (while caring for three kids; the list alone was not daunting enough). What are the tasks?

• paint master bath and bedroom
• build new shed doors (one's been built)
• paint shed
• replace sliding door
• build fire pit (done)
• write the next great american novel
• organize garage (which would prob involve building shelves)
• build a clay brick sidewalk (with surrounding landscaping)
• Fix our 20 mile long fence

I probably forgot something. But here I am, typing. Can you say misprioritization of jobs? Oh, I forgot another summer task. RELAX.